Happy Mother’s Day

To my 5’2″ Mexican mother,

 

You may have been the world’s cutest baby.

 

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Although, when you look at your own mom, it’s not really shocking.

 

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My abuelita was hotter than your abuelita.

 

Sometimes I look at myself in the mirror and wonder… dude.  I know we’ve got all these photos of you and me together on the day I was born, but are SURE I came out of your belly?

 

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19 years old

 Like, really, REALLY sure?

You’ve done a lot for me, but deep in my heart I’m still a bit resentful.  Couldn’t you have tried a little bit harder to give me your olive skin?  I’m pretty sure I’m the most un-Mexican half-Mexican in the world.  I know you don’t really get a choice as to what your kid will look like… I’m just saying, you could have tried a little bit harder to pass on your genes.  Cuz seriously, woman, you had some great genes to pass along.

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I know you tried to pass on your ability to pose for the camera.  That…. that got lost in the translation somewhere.  Sorry.

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You also tried to pass on how to be feminine, to do your hair, to never wear underwear with holes in them, to sit like a lady, and to always wash your fruit before you eat it.

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As I sit here eating my unwashed apple with a live baby chicken shoved down my bra (how else should I keep it warm while I’m holding it?) all I can say is:  you really tried, and nobody’s blaming you.

Madrisima, you are more beautiful than I think you will ever know, and I love you.  And I promise that by the time you guys arrive today, I will have at least changed out of my chicken bra and into something less germ-ridden, just for you.   I also promise that every time I bite into a piece of unwashed fruit, no matter how old I am, I will hear your voice going “Re-be-ca!  Wash that!”

See?  You did your job well.

…..even though was just selfish of you not to give me more of those gorgeous Mexican genes.

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Happy Mother’s Day 🙂

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