On Parenting a 7-Year-Old Boy

  1. “No, you can’t have Halloween candy for breakfast.”
  2. “Why in the heck are you….no, you can’t eat cereal on the couch! Go sit at the kitchen table.”
  3. “Aww, I love you, too.”
  4. “GO STAND ON THE WALL!”
  5. “No flossing…yes, I know it’s just a dance move. I don’t care. I’m tired of watching it.”
  6. “Sure, you can ride your bike down the street. Look both ways before crossing…Hey! Come back and get your helmet!”
  7. “GO STAND ON THE WALL! NO ELECTRONICS FOR A WEEK!”
  8. “What are you eating? No, you can’t have those. Those are school snacks! I know you’re hungry- why do you think I’m standing in front of the stove, cooking? School snacks are expensive, and dinner’s almost ready. Put it back. I don’t care if it’s half-eaten, I’ll put it in a ziplock baggie and you can take it with you tomorrow.”
  9. “Quit flossing. If you flossed your teeth as much as you flossed your butt, you’d never have a cavity.”.
  10. “You had a bad dream? Go pee first, then come lay down. Yaaawwwwn. Night, sweetie. I love you, too.

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