To my 5’2″ Mexican mother,

You may have been the world’s cutest baby.

Although, when you look at your own mom, it’s not really shocking.

My abuelita was hotter than your abuelita.

Sometimes I look at myself in the mirror and wonder… dude.  I know we’ve got all these photos of you and me together on the day I was born, but are SURE I came out of your belly?

19 years old

 Like, really, REALLY sure?

You’ve done a lot for me, but deep in my heart I’m still a bit resentful.  Couldn’t you have tried a little bit harder to give me your olive skin?  I’m pretty sure I’m the most un-Mexican half-Mexican in the world.  I know you don’t really get a choice as to what your kid will look like… I’m just saying, you could have tried a little bit harder to pass on your genes.  Cuz seriously, woman, you had some great genes to pass along.

I know you tried to pass on your ability to pose for the camera.  That…. that got lost in the translation somewhere.  Sorry.

You also tried to pass on how to be feminine, to do your hair, to never wear underwear with holes in them, to sit like a lady, and to always wash your fruit before you eat it.

As I sit here eating my unwashed apple with a live baby chicken shoved down my bra (how else should I keep it warm while I’m holding it?) all I can say is:  you really tried, and nobody’s blaming you.

Madrisima, you are more beautiful than I think you will ever know, and I love you.  And I promise that by the time you guys arrive today, I will have at least changed out of my chicken bra and into something less germ-ridden, just for you.   I also promise that every time I bite into a piece of unwashed fruit, no matter how old I am, I will hear your voice going “Re-be-ca!  Wash that!”

See?  You did your job well.

…..even though was just selfish of you not to give me more of those gorgeous Mexican genes.

Happy Mother’s Day 🙂