For the record, I hate writing an “About Me” page with the passion of a thousand fiery suns…. but since it’s the first page I click when I go to someone else’s blog, it’d be hypocritical of me to leave this blank.
My name is Becky Bean.
I am 33 years old and live just outside of Portland, Oregon.
I am married to an accountant, The Bean, who does all the boring stuff I never remember to do. Thanks, babe, for remembering to pay the mortgage. It’s nice having a roof over my head.
I have a black Labrador Retriever named Artemis who is beautiful and amazingly talented and responds to my every command. I have a passive aggressive German Shepherd/Hound named Sudo who is less obedient but more fun to cuddle with.
I have a 9 year old Andalusian/Tennesee Walker named Caspian who is dapple grey and gorgeous and responds to my commands at the slightest twitch of a rein.
I have two little boys, DragonMonkey (5) and Squid (3). They are not nearly as well-behaved as my animals.
In fact, they’re not very well-behaved at all.
They like to pee on the dog and play “SLAP! YOU’RE A ZOMBIE!”. I haven’t quite figured out all all the rules to the game – they invented it, and despite them asking if I want to play, I’ve never been tempted to join.
As far as I can figure, you’re supposed to say, “Please hit me! Slap me! Please! Slap my head!”, and then once the other person does hit you, you burst out laughing and say, “I’m a zombie!” Then everyone laughs hysterically, because hitting is funny! Hahahahahahahaha! When the laughter dies down your turn is over and it’s time to hit the other person. .
I suppose I should make them stop, but they’re using their imaginations, and saying please, and nothing’s being set on fire, so I consider it a win.
Anyways, I seem to get myself in more embarrassing situations than any other person I know. Parenting has only made that worse. I’ve always threatened I was going to write a book, The Book of Becky, and fill it with all the stupid things I’ve done.
Who knows? Maybe I still will.
For now, people are going to have to settle for this blog (which is pretty much the same thing.)