Hello, Internet.

My name is Becky.

I live in Huntington Beach.

I have a husband, two children, a big butt, and a cocker spaniel with self-esteem issues.

I am thirty years old.

Thirty.

Like, wow. Thirty. According to the plan I made for myself in junior high, I should be celebrating my one year wedding anniversary and saving up my money. After all, in about a year or so I am going to branch out and open up my own large animal veterinary clinic in Colorado. In about two years I will become pregnant with my first child. The funds from the release of my SECOND book will help cover the gap of my maternity leave.

You know, if you ignore the fact that I still live in California, have a desk job, have not published a single thing and you only focus on the children/husband aspect of my plan…

Woohooo! I’m a total overachiever!

I tried to think of something big that I could do to celebrate turning thirty. I actually gave it quite a bit of thought over the past few weeks/months, and I finally came to my decision:

I am coming out of the blogging closet.

I’ve been hiding my blog from my real-life friends and family, mostly because I liked the freedom of my “anonymity”. I even went as far as creating a “fake” Facebook profile and linking it to this blog… that way I could still be “friends” with you guys, but not worry about anyone spilling the beans.

The thing is—- hiding stuff is not really my thing.

I mean, for starters, I’m too busy for that kind of silliness. Being secretive takes time, and time is not something I have in abundance.

We are desperately low on groceries at home. I’d complain about it, but it’s pretty much all my fault. Apparently you have to actually get in the car and GO to the store to replace what you eat. You can’t just think about it really hard.

Trust me. I’ve tried.

I’ve even tried “Accio, Groceries!” but it doesn’t seem to work.

On a side note: I’ve always had a problem with the way the wands work in Harry Potter. How am I supposed to daydream about living in a world where all of my magical powers rely on whether or not I have remembered to bring along a small, easily lost stick? If I were invited to Hogwarts (I’m sure they’ve just misplaced my invitation. Aaaaaanytime now.), the first thing I would do was head down to the infirmary and have them surgically graft my wand in my arm. Wandius Graftus–Armium! How much simpler would THAT be?

Anyways, life is busy.

I work long hours.

I have a two year old who completely destroys the house on a daily basis by flinging toys and random toddler paraphernalia everywhere.

I have a 5 month old who nurses through the night.

I have a mountain of laundry crouching in my bedroom. Now that there are four of us, it seems like I can never catch up. The pile is getting menacingly tall.

In fact, it’s just getting menacing.

At night, if I squint at it just right, it actually looks like Jabba the Hut.

With all this, I don’t really have time to live a duplicitous, double life.

By day, we have a Becky….. but by night, we have Blogger Becky with her secret superpowers of… uh… telling embarrassing stories about herself!

Yeah.

Besides, The Bean loves me and supports me. How do I know this? Well, for starters, he messages me about 3 or 4 times of a week: Has the Blog of Becky been updated yet? No? Do you have any stories on the back burner you could work on?

Plus, he took time out of an extraordinarily busy weekend to sit down and fix my shiny new url, despite the fact he had a midterm and two angry little children whining and crawling all over him.

I mean, if that’s not dedication and support, I don’t know what is.

So, after mulling it over, I’ve decided to go public.

Life is too short to waste time hiding things. I like my blog. I enjoy writing in it. It’s fun to tell stories, and it’s fun to write without worrying about whether a professor will find my writing style too informal. I can write fragments. Like this. Or this.

And I can start sentences with conjunctions if I want to. It’s totally awesome.

Hey, maybe it’s not a private veterinary practice or a cabin in Colorado, but it makes me happy, and I’m proud of it.

So, hi. (If you squint, you can see me waving.)

My name is Becky. Becky Bean.

I am thirty years old.

I have a husband who I call The Bean (You can see how far of a stretch THAT nickname was) and two boys: DragonMonkey and The Squid.

I’ve decided that while I may want to go public, I’ll still refer to the boys by their nicknames. After all, what if they go try to get a job in a couple of years and when the potential employer Googles their name, they find stories about how they smeared the crib with poo or had a tendency to run around naked? Besides, they really are nicknames – I’d say The Bean and I call them “DM” and “The Squid” more than we call them by their real first names.

That Facebook link over there on the sidebar is a link to my REAL Facebook account.

I’m going to update the info on it and even include a link to this site.

Sweet. Happy Birthday to me.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go ignore Jabba the Laundry Monster a little while longer and work on a couple of stories to post on my not-so-private blog.