The lean young warrior stood poised fat mom leaned in exhaustion, muscles taut as she surveyed the path alertly lower back aching from pushing the heavy tandem stroller.

She slung the bow and arrow over her back, squaring her shoulders with a fierce determination. reminded her toddler for the millionth time to quit picking his nose – no, don’t you dare wipe it on the baby! Gross!

It was time to embrace her destiny. She was born for this, for something bigger than the banal trivialities of every day life. She’d known this since she was young, and spent years training and preparing for this very moment. She was a leader, a warrior, and even if she were to lose her life in this struggle, she would fight passionately against the darkness until the very moment of death. do some laundry. Boy, she had a lot of laundry to do – there was just no way she could put it off for another day. She’d have to start on it as soon as they got home. Hmm. Should she do the whites first, or the towels? Decisions, decisions.

A fierce joy swept through her body, and with a shout she leapt forward, running lightly. She gave a heavy sigh, pressing her hands to the base of her spine, wincing. Man. Eight hours at a desk job was killer on the lower back. Ever faithful, the warrior’s wolf raced quickly alongside her, alert for any danger that might threaten his mistress as they raced along the sunbeaten path. Great. The cocker spaniel was all wrapped up in his leash again. He stood there, confused and whining, ready to piddle all over the place if she approached him too suddenly.

In front of her, the toddler began to shift nervously— why had they stopped? “Park? Park? PARK?! PARK?! PARK?! PARK?!” As if on cue, the infant picked up on his brother’s whines and began a quiet whining of his own. She glanced at the two of them in exasperation. Couldn’t she take two minutes to look at the sunset without both of them dissolving into a complete meltdown?

Hmmm. Maybe there’s a reason nobody writes fanfiction about being a mom.