5:45pm: I can totally drink this Dr. Pepper. I had a long day at work, and now I have to drive to Portland and back. If I’m not sleepy when I get home, I’ll just use the time wisely and get some writing done.
9:03 pm: Huh. I guess I’m sleepy after all. Yay! Bedtime!
11:17pm: I feel like the middle part of my thirties we’re all taken up with being pregnant and getting the twins to an age where I can go out in public again. It’s kind of sad… My early thirties felt like “Wait, I’m not in my twenties anymore”, and now I feel like I’m “almost in my forties”, so I feel like I missed my thirties. I guess it’s not too late. I should be more in the present. I don’t have to give up just yet. I still have time to make my thirties a decade of memories beyond “momming”…..
But my neck feels old, when I pinch it. Eww. Neck folds. Is my neck old looking? Wait, who cares? How self-absorbed is that? Refugees and war and dying kids and I’m over here wondering about my neck….. But still. I wonder if it looks as old as it feels? When was the last time I looked at my neck in the mirror? I shouldn’t care, but I’ve been waiting to fall asleep for over two hours. Now I feel like I have too much skin on my neck. Am I obsessing or has it always been there? I’m being weird. I should quit pinching my neck flab.
I wish I could go to sleep. Wow, it’s dark in my bedroom. What phase is the moon in? Do I have the same night vision out of both eyes? I should test it. Left eye. Right eye. Left eye. Right eye. Both eyes at once!
Oooh, if I squeeze my eyes shut really hard, I get the neat blue colors. Why are they blue circles when I squeeze my eyes shut, but blue lines when I press? Are they blue for everyone? I should Google that. Wait, if I press really hard, I can make a blue cube behind my closed eyelid, instead of a blue circle! Oh. I wonder if this is bad for my eyes? I should stop, before I make myself go blind. Wouldn’t that be a stupid call to the paramedics?
“911, what is your emergency?”
“I need to go to the hospital because I pushed on my eyes so hard I made myself go blind. No, quit laughing and send an ambulance.”
I wonder if any of my favorite authors have any new books out? Eh. I can’t afford them anyway. I should have started saving for Reverie the second I decided to ask Kathleen to breed Sparkle. I could be reading a good book right now.
My tongue feels too big for my mouth. Great. Now I can’t figure out where my tongue is supposed to go. It feels all wadded up in my teeth… I don’t remember having to think about this so hard before. Wasn’t there an XKCD about this? I think there was.
The Bean is snoring. I wish I were snoring. I wish I could make my brain shut up. I have to up in six hours. Guess this is a sign I’m well rested? When the twins were just born, no amount of caffeine could keep me up.
I shouldn’t have had that Dr.Pepper. Also, I wish my brain would shut up. Do other people think so loud? Why does caffeine make me think in full sentences? Can I make my brain voice have a British accent? Hello, would you like a spot of tea? Wow, that was awful. Maybe I just need to try harder? Blimey! Crikey! Spot of tea. Crumpet. Go to the loo…. Yeah, I should give up. My brain voice can’t do accents.
Man, I’m bored. I could give up on sleep and fire up the laptop to work on my book, but then what if I’m up all night? I guess I’ll just go back to pinching my neck folds again.
Never. Again. Never, ever, ever, ever again.